Questions About Social Discomfort

Questions About Social Discomfort

[00:45] Q – Why are people so divided right now?

Why are people so divided right now?

[00:48] A – Destructive Normalization

This has been going on for the entire history of humanity. Historically, it’s an invitation to destruction.

It’s one of the symptoms of social disease. When there’s no middle ground and there’s polarization—this extreme pole, that extreme pole—nobody in between, nobody in the middle ground. And if you are in the middle ground, you are the subject of severe criticism by either that side or that side. You know, there’s no occupying the middle ground. You have to get way over here or get way over there.

When we’ve seen this occur historically, it’s like putting your fingers on the pulse of society, and you’re seeing the approach to major destructive normalization. Destructive normalization means there’s a disease state starting in the society. So, the problem is not that people are polarized. Polarization is a symptom of a much larger illness, a much larger social illness.

[02:05] Mistaken Identity

And that social illness is the tendency to try to find identity by things external to the inner field of Being.

Being, Unified Field, the state beyond thought—that field of pure, silent inner awareness—is your ultimate identity. It’s everyone’s ultimate identity, and it gives expression to variety.

“I am the Totality Field” is the correct answer, and this has to be from direct experience, not just thinking about it and thinking that pretty thought. One actually has to have a direct experience of that, which happens through Vedic Meditation.

When not enough people are having that experience, people try to discover their identity through doings: “I do this. This is my identity. I do that. That’s my identity. I think this. This is my identity. I think that. That’s my identity.”

Thinking and doing is not actually a way of discovering what you are. What you are is beyond who you are. It’s the fundamental, deep inner field of Beingness, which one can only get to through systematic techniques strategically practiced—Vedic Meditation, twice every day, transcending thought entirely.

Then you get to experience the what. How is it that your deep inner Unified Field Consciousness is forming you and sculpting you to be the perfect, most relevant thing to meet the need of the time? And so the desperate search for identity is what’s causing this polarization.

[04:03] The It-ification of Other Humans

It does have a kind of a feel-good about it. “I’m an extreme one of these things, and all those people, they’re the it’s.” And the other side is saying the same thing: “I’m an extreme one of these things, and all those people, they are the it’s.”

And this makes the job of warfare very simple because it’s very easy to kill an it. They’re not human—they’re it’s. And so, when we see the it-ification of other humans, this is what polarization creates. We’re seeing preparation for war.

So, we need urgently to treat this febrile state—it’s a feverish state; febrile means feverish. We need to treat this febrile state of society by cooling down the collective consciousness.

Cooling it down and getting a larger number of people practicing Vedic Meditation—both individually, privately, and in group or communal settings—in order to have that effect of de-exciting the collective.

Excitation causes polarization. And so, when we see polarization, we can’t say, “Don’t be polarized.” It’s like saying to someone who has a fever, “Don’t have a fever. Don’t have it.”

Well, someone can’t just say, “I’m not going to have a fever. Okay, that’s it. Fever’s gone.” We have to do something that decreases the temperature, de-excites the collective consciousness. 

So the it-ification of people—that’s turning others into it’s—no longer becomes the default position because this is preparation for killing.

[05:51] Be an Inspiration to Others to Learn Vedic Meditation

When people are it’s, you hear people talking about that: “Oh, the lefties, the wokes, the lefties and the wokes,” rolling their eyes and with a tattoo on their arm of an AK-47, or a little cap with guns on it. And this kind of talking about all the it’s out there.

And then the opposite side: “Oh, all of those Nazi fascists who are over on the other side, the ones with the gun tattoos. And so maybe we better get some guns of our own because they’re calling us it’s; we think they’re the it’s. They are the deplorable ones. They are the ones who are wreaking havoc in the world. They are the ones who want to stop progress.”

This division between those who are open to change and those who are not open to change—open and closed—and the closed people feel perfectly justified in being closed because they think the doors have been open too long. And the open ones think that the closed ones are causing all the problems.

This kind of division—turning other human beings into non-humans—this is psychological preparation for killing. And it’s a very desperately febrile, feverish state.

It’s a signal to those of us who meditate to cleave to our practice with greater resolve and to be as inspirational to our friends as possibly we can be without being proselytizers. That means you don’t want to be a missionary, but certainly to be an inspiration to others also to take up the practice of Vedic Meditation so that we can together cool down the collective consciousness and decrease the polarization.

We’ll know that we’re having an effect when we see middle ground appearing again. When middle ground begins once again to appear, then that it-ification has stopped—or at least decreased—then we’re moving away from the battlefield. Otherwise, this is a symptom of us moving towards the battlefield.

[08:07] Q – How can we recover after embarrassing ourselves?

How can we recover after embarrassing ourselves?

[08:11] A – Get Yourself a Sense of Humor

Get yourself a sense of humor. That’s what I recommend. The thing is, every day of life is a sitcom moment.

If you decide you’ve made a fool of yourself or something like that, you forget that you’re an actor in a kind of bit of elevational theater that’s going on. That’s what daily life is.

And so, you’ve made some kind of a gaffe, or you’ve been a bit gauche in some situation, or you’ve said something which would have been better not said, or you’ve missed an opportunity to say something which could have been said. Isn’t this really pretty much the way in which we’re, kind of through trial and error, going through our daily existence?

Now, if it was on television and you were watching it as a sitcom, sitting in the comfort of your living room, eating your popcorn, you would watch that, and you would be laughing, just like your favorite characters in any sitcom who have classic ways of behaving.

If you don’t have that sense of humor, then it’s not possible for you to take life in a jovial fashion. We obviously don’t wish to continuously make fools of ourselves, but from time to time, if you get a little too perfect, I highly recommend that you get slightly foolish because it’s more fun.

Don’t be so serious. Have a sense of humor. Treat those moments as a sitcom moment. Think back about them and think to yourself, “Isn’t this a little bit like a sitcom I watched three years ago or five years ago?”

Have a laugh about it. If you can have a laugh about it, believe me, you have an enormous advantage.

[09:53] The Human Condition is Not a Serious Condition

And so, don’t miss that ability to kind of zoom out and look at it all in a broader perspective as if you’re an audience member.

Oh, you went to hand somebody a fork, and you were trying to be so graceful because it was an important dinner to you, but when you handed them the fork, it slipped out of your hand and fell into their soup and splashed soup all over their tuxedo. 

You might be dying of mortification, which is also part of the sitcom, but actually, in the retelling of it, let five years go by and retell the story of how you dropped the fork into the soup of the professor who was about to give an acceptance speech for a Nobel Prize award, and the soup splashed all over the tuxedo.

I guarantee you, in the retelling of it, it’ll be hilarious. I’m not sure who said it, but whoever it was who said it was very wise. A gaffe or a mistake or a little bit of misery—add time, and it becomes comedy. Why not add the time right now? You don’t have to wait five years. That was hilarious, that dropping that fork in the person’s soup.

So, let’s develop a sense of humor, and let’s be very forgiving of our gaffes. And obviously, we want to make fewer of them, but if you happen to be a perfect being—I haven’t met anyone like that yet, but I’m looking forward to it—if you do happen to be a perfect being, let me advise you that you’re very boring, and you need to at least construct a few gaffes.

Watch some sitcoms and take a few hints on how to drop forks into soup and things like that, so that you can have a little bit of fun.

The natural human condition is not a serious condition of printing-press perfection. We live our lives in the way of being available to be entertained and amused by these kinds of gaffes. So take it easy, let a sense of humor come over you, and don’t wait five years for it to be comedic. Develop that five-year thing right now. It’s actually quite hilarious.

[12:09] Q – How can I accept compliments gracefully?

I do enjoy receiving compliments. However, I usually feel uncomfortable when I’m receiving them. Do you have any tips on how to accept compliments gracefully?

[12:19] A – Words Can’t Even Express Your Greatness

Actually, the compliments people are making are not enough. If someone says to you, “You’re the greatest person I ever met,” you should really be thinking to yourself, “Really, is that all you can say about me?” (laughter)

If you really know who you are, if you really know what you are, words can’t even express your greatness.

You’re the one, indivisible, whole, Unified Field of Consciousness having a human experience. That’s what you actually are—the one, indivisible, whole, Unified Field of Consciousness having a human experience. That’s what you really are.

And your humanity is not a humanity of perfection. Perfection is not in the repertoire of humanity. In fact, perfection is dangerous.

So, when somebody compliments you, just have that inner quiet thing of, “Keep going, you’re getting to the right place, come on, up it a little bit…” (laughter)

Accepting a compliment—this is part of a beautiful quote from my guru, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s master, Guru Deva. Listen to it carefully:

“You deserve the best. Never feel unworthy or not justified in having the best. I tell you, this is your heritage”—heritage here means birthright—“I tell you, this is your heritage. But you have to”—and here’s where we note—“you have to accept it, you have to expect it, you have to claim it. To do so is not demanding too much.”

[14:11] Thank You

All right, so this is the enjoining by the king of the yogis to anyone who can hear it: you actually deserve the best.

If you feel as though you don’t deserve the best, then you have a little bit of that imposter syndrome. “Oh, somebody’s complimenting me. If I accept the compliment, maybe it’s only a matter of time before they figure out that I’m an imposter, and they want to withdraw the compliment.”

The fact is, you’re being an imposter by pretending to be not worthy of compliment. That’s a true imposter. You’re not being an imposter if you accept, expect, claim, “I’m the Unified Field of Consciousness having a human experience.”

And what do we do when someone gives us a great compliment? Don’t say, “Oh gosh, I’m nobody good, you could do this, anybody could do it, I didn’t do anything,” and all of that. Get out of all that nonsense.

Just practice two simple words. You can stand in front of a mirror and do this exercise 20 times every morning after brushing your teeth.

You look at yourself in the mirror and you say, “Thank you.” And then try it another way, “Thank you.” Or, “Thank you,” or “Thank you,” or “Thank you.”

Then you can take the “you” part off, and you can say, “Thanks, thanks, thanks.” Just keep practicing it 20 times a day after brushing your teeth until you get really good at it.

And then, when somebody makes a compliment to you, you don’t have to make all sorts of words and sentences and everything. Two words maximum, one word minimum. Two words, “Thank you.” One word, “Thanks.”

Now, we’ll know that we’re getting a little egotistical if, when somebody compliments you, you say, “I know.” Or if somebody compliments you, and you say, “I didn’t ask.” That’s you getting conceited. So obviously, don’t go there.

But, “Thank you.” Practice it in front of the mirror. Get really good at it. And then, instead of getting all kind of breaking out in a rash when somebody compliments you, you practice what you practiced this morning after brushing your teeth. “Thank you.”

Just, “Thank you,” and then be quiet. Move on to the next subject. It’s a really good practice—20 times a day.

[16:44] Q – How can we strengthen a relationship during tough times?

Do you have any tips on how we can strengthen a relationship during tough times?

[16:49] A – Alliances vs Relationships

First of all, I don’t recommend relationships. I recommend alliances. See, for example, Israel has a relationship with Iran. But we don’t consider it to be a desirable thing. It’s an adversarial relationship.

A relationship can mean all kinds of things. Who’s in it? For what purpose? Who’s expecting what? Did somebody have an appointment with expectations that were inaccurate, and therefore they set themselves up for disappointment? In order to have a disappointment, you have to have an appointment. That means you have to have an inaccurate expectation.

When expectations are inaccurate, when partners to a mere relationship do not have a shared mission, there’s not clarity of shared mission, then what happens is circumstantial phenomena can disrupt because inaccurate expectations weren’t met.

And so what I suggest is, don’t be in a relation-ship. It’s like a ship that you get on that left the shore, and there was a party happening, and you had to jump overboard and swim to the land again because it was going to be a long night—the relation-ship.

I’m not too fond of these ships. I’m fond of love alliances. You have an alliance. Do you have an alliance or a mere ship? I prefer the alliance.

In a love alliance, there is a mature assessing of what the alliance is about—shared mission. And if, in fact, something comes up in an alliance where one party finds that their call to evolution is different from that of their ally, then it is incumbent upon both parties to look at it and make a decision about whether or not the arrangements—the frequency with which you see each other, the proximity that you might share, and all of that—need to be more flexible or change.

And in an alliance, this is not a “failed ship,” a failed relationship, a sunken ship, you know, failed relationship. I hear this all the time. Well, all it means to me is there wasn’t really an alliance.

[19:33] Honor the Best Interests of Each of You

In an alliance, the best interests of each of the two allies are honored. You have an honoring of the best interests of each of you.

And it may be that an alliance has a given lifetime. Maybe it’s 50 years. Maybe it’s 75 years. Maybe it’s 50 minutes. Maybe it’s 15 minutes.

What are your expectations, and on what are those expectations based? How well do you actually know each other and, more importantly, how much do you actually care about the other person? How much do you actually care?

If somebody with whom you’re an ally has an evolutionary need that doesn’t include waking up in the morning and seeing your toothbrush, if they have an evolutionary need that requires them to be elsewhere, then it is incumbent upon you, if you’re an ally, to find a way to help your ally find their fulfillment.

Otherwise, resentment—the relationship failed, it was the work pressure that did it, it was the pandemic that did it, it was this that did it, it was that that did it. Actually, it wasn’t any of those things. It was a kind of mutual weakness.

Relationships can fail because relationships are based on expectations. An alliance can’t fail because an alliance properly should be based upon a mutual desire to fulfill the need of the other. Mutual desire to fulfill the need of the other. This is a proper alliance.

[21:28] Vedic Meditation Reminds You Who You Really Are

So, practice Vedic Meditation, and you end up having that strength of character where you do not become dependent upon the experiences, as reported by another, for your sense of value in life.

“Oh, somebody paid a lot of attention to me, and then we got into a relationship, and now they don’t pay attention to me anymore, the way they used to. You’ve changed. You don’t pay attention to me like you used to. So I’m out of here.”

What that person is going to do is go out and find somebody else who has a short-term capability to keep paying attention to them, and it’ll just happen again and again.

Because if I can only find value because someone is attending to me all the time, it means I have a fundamental weakness of character. And to strengthen my character, I need to practice Vedic Meditation every day and identify with the unbounded Unified Field that I actually am.

To become a self-sufficient field of total capability, who will take that capability into excursion and interact with others, that’s all I’m interested in doing, is interacting with others, bringing my capability. If somebody finds that they’ve had enough of that and they have to have some other experience, then it’s incumbent upon me to ensure that they’re able to get the experience that they want.

[23:09] Work on Our Capacity to Give

Not, “Oh, I don’t really have value anymore because my whole life was based on them smiling at me.”

If you listen to all that music that’s playing over the radio: “I’ll be watching you, every step you take,” “it’s too late to apologize, too late, too late, too late,” all that stuff.

You hear all this stuff about everybody feeling all hurty poos about what happened because evidently, they ended up embodying what turned out to be inaccurate expectations. “You didn’t deliver to me everything that you could have delivered to me for the rest of my life.”

And so, this is basic weakness of character. How do we get strength of character? We establish ourselves in Being. Being enjoys relating in an alliance. Being enjoys being of service. Being is not needy. It’s not needy.

So, let’s get out of the neediness state of consciousness and into the fulfilled state of consciousness by meditating twice every day, awakening our full potential, and finding ways that we can add value and bring value in any alliance in which we engage.

But waiting for a relationship to deliver—“I’m just waiting for the relationship to deliver”—I hear things like this all the time. People call me and talk to me: “My relationship’s not delivering. It’s not delivering.”

Relationships aren’t based on receiving. They’re based on giving. You have a relationship to the extent that you can give. Not, “I need stuff, and my partner’s not giving me the stuff I need.”

So, waiting to receive, you’re setting yourself up for major disappointment and resentment. Let’s work on our capacity to give and see where we get with this. Let’s have alliances, not ships—not sinking ships.

[25:16] Q – Can enlightened masters be angry?

Can enlightened masters be angry?

[25:20] A – Moments of Strong Expression

See, the thing is, maybe one of my little babies—I’ve had a few babies in my life—starts crawling toward an electric power outlet with a hairpin, because they see, “Well, this thing seems to fit that thing,” and they start moving toward it, and I might say, “No.” Then they look up at me.

But then they think, “Well, I have to stick this in there because it looks like it fits.” And then I might need to increase the tone of my voice a little. “No.” And then, they start to maybe whimper a little bit, but then they get headstrong and start going for the hole again with the hairpin.

I might come up to them and say, “No! No. I said no. Now, come over here. Now, come over here. Now, no need to cry. Let’s find something else for you to put that hairpin in. Maybe this bit of modeling clay. See how it just sticks in here so nicely like that?”

Now, there was a moment of strong expression. Was I angry with the baby? I wasn’t angry with the baby. I needed to make myself heard. So to disrupt some patterned behavior, to interrupt that patterned behavior, sometimes some strong words need to be used.

But the strong words don’t mean I’m overcome with anger. The intervention is occurring in a way where the bigger nature is taking care of the less capable nature.

Sometimes, a louder sound has to be made than on other occasions. And someone who’s like, in the baby consciousness, might think, “Why did Daddy shout at me? You didn’t have to shout at me.” Well, evidently, Daddy did need to shout.

So, like that, we have to consider: is this anger, or is it simply different levels of volume required to attract attention to higher intelligence? It’s the latter. It’s not anger.

[27:32] Be Masterful Without Being Angry

Maharishi, on many occasions, used the word “no” with me. I would start down some track…

For example, on one occasion, when he set me up—and he would set me up from time to time—he asked, “Are you hungry?” I replied, “Maharishi, I’m starving.” He said, “No. Many people are starving in the world today.”

And I’d say, “Oh, well, I didn’t mean…” and he’d interrupt, “No, don’t talk. Many people are starving in the world today.” This is Maharishi dealing with an 18-year-old. I was 18 at the time. “Many people are starving in the world today. You’re not one of them. You’re ready for your next meal. Let’s go eat.”

Sometimes, interrupting has to be done in a way that is pointed to break, to interrupt, to disrupt, and to break patterned thinking or patterned speech.

The application of that does not indicate anger. It indicates masterfulness. One can be masterful without being angry.