How to Find Your Soulmate

How to Find Your Soulmate

[00:45] Is There Such a Thing as a Soulmate?

This is the Vedic Worldview, and I’m Thom Knoles, the creator of the podcast. Thank you for listening.

How do I find my soulmate? We have to back up a little bit from that question and ask the question that needs to be asked before that one. Is there such a thing as a soulmate?

I said once, and I meant it, that probably if you could relax, you probably have something on the order of 40 or 50,000 people who could qualify as a soulmate on the Earth right now.

If only you could relax and allow your consciousness to be self-satisfied. That is to say, to become one with the supreme, the supremely contented Unified Field consciousness. The panicky idea about, “I’ve gotta find a soulmate,” is a panicky idea based on, “I’m not enough. I am not enough.” When you are enough, you’re going to be so attractive that there’ll be people breaking the doors down to spend time with you.

But as long as, “I am not enough, I have to add somebody to me, add something to me, add people to me in order to be enough,” then there’s going to be desperation around the idea there’s a very specific person. The idea that there’s only one person on the Earth who was made for you, is an idea which you can achieve quite a bit of fulfillment with, with probably any number of people over a lifetime.

If you’ve lived long enough, you may have had experiences in the past, in past relationships where you had intimate moments with people, and looking into each other’s eyes said, “We were just made for each other, weren’t we?” “Yes we were. Because you did this and I did that. And you went there and I went there. And you listened to that music and I listened to that music. And you were always interested in this and I was always interested in this.”

And then later on, some arguments happen and things and two of you go apart and you think, “I guess that wasn’t my soulmate. How embarrassing. I talked to that person as if they were my soulmate. Turns out they weren’t. I told all my friends, that was my soulmate. Sorry, I was wrong. That wasn’t my soulmate. I’m still searching.”

But in that moment where two people are really looking at and analyzing all the different circumstances that qualify them as “soulmates,” it’s very convincing. But I’m putting it to you that under other circumstances, and maybe you’ve even had this experience, you could have a very similar set of conclusions that you arrive at with somebody who had a completely different life to the previous person that you called your soulmate.

[03:44] A Desire to Experience Unity With Someone

And so this is our… our desire for a soulmate, it is a desire to experience unity with somebody. It’s to experience unity with somebody, but we have to have a baseline level of unity in ourself before we can really experience that kind of supremely satisfying unity with anybody.

If we don’t have that baseline of Unity Consciousness, a good degree of Unity Consciousness, we don’t need full-blown Unity Consciousness, which is the pinnacle of human evolution, but we have to have a very good inner level of contact with the Unified Field, through our practice of Vedic Meditation twice a day, that gives us a sense of Beingness, that gives us a sense of, I am kind of connected with everything around me and everyone around me, in order to have that satisfying experience that, “This was all meant to be, wasn’t it?”

The fact is when you have a sufficient level of enlightenment inside you, any experience you have with anybody, anywhere, anytime, is going to yield up that thing of, “This was meant to be, wasn’t it?” Well, of course it was meant to be.

When you are in high percentage in your deep inner ego structure, you are in high percentage, “I am The Universe having a human experience,” anything that The Universe experiences was meant to be. Anything, everything.

And so then, the idea that you’re only ever going to be satisfied and you’re going to find your ultimate fulfillment when you find your soulmate is a very neediness-based concept.

“I’m a needy one. I’m not complete, and I need to find somebody who’s going to complete me.” As long as you’re living that mentality, you’re always going to have problems and trouble in your relationships. “I need somebody to complete me.”

[05:59] Relationship is an Outlet for Fulfillment

A relationship is not designed to give you fulfillment. Relationships do not yield fulfillment. Relationships are a showcase for the existing levels of fulfillment. A relationship can be a showcase for how much fulfillment already is possessed by two people, but it is not a means whereby fulfillment’s gained.

Relationship is an outlet for fulfillment. A relationship can be an outlet for it, but it can’t be the cause of it. I can’t get myself into fulfillment by getting into a relationship. And so we need to let go of that idea, the idea that, “I’ll be fulfilled when… the perfect person enters my life. My soulmate. The only thing that’s missing is my soulmate.”

When you awaken in yourself your fullest potential and you spend time with somebody else, you know, high frequency means greater number of times that you see each other in a given 24-hour period, and the degree of shared experience that you have, then it’s… our desire to have shared experience grows the more fulfilled we are.

When you’re a little kid, if you’re with a school excursion and you’re all going off to see the waterfall or something, I’m just making this up, you can change the circumstances according to your own memory of things. But if you got ahead of the pack and you happened to see the waterfall before anybody else, you felt discontented, because you had to run back and tell everybody. “Wait till you see this. It’s right around the corner. I’ve just been there. I’ll show you the waterfall.”

And so, the minute we experience something great, we naturally want to share it, and we particularly want to share it with somebody else who’s eager to have the experience shared with us. But we have to have the experience first.

So in the consciousness stakes, when you are in a heightened consciousness state, it is natural that you want to have a shared experience of that with somebody else. And if you have somebody who is either seeking to have the experience that you’ve already established or they’re already on a level similar to yours, where the two of you don’t have to go to very much pains of communication in order to have a shared experience or to demonstrate that shared experience, then there’s greater joy in it.

[08:56] Don’t Wait for a Soulmate

It’s natural to want to have shared experience, but don’t wait for a soulmate. Anybody could be your soulmate if you have awakened your deep inner soul, if you’ve awakened your deep inner consciousness, if you’ve awakened it to its Unified Field value.

And so, hoping that there’s somebody out there… “I just know there’s somebody who’s out there. I can feel it.” I hear people telling me this all the time because I have a thousand consultations a year on average, and so a good percentage of those thousand people that I talk to are… I can tell whether they use the word soulmate or not, they’re convinced that the person’s out there somewhere.

You know, “They took birth. They’re just waiting for me. I’m just waiting for them. I thought 15 different people were that person, but turns out not one of those 15 was actually it. They were all of my mistakes. And now I’m just waiting around the corner somewhere is, the perfect person.” 

This is a desperate consciousness state. We need to step out of that desperate consciousness state. You are enough. Let’s get you and your consciousness onto a level that’s something worth sharing. Let’s get you and your consciousness onto a level that is really super enjoyable.

Let’s get you into the bliss-plus mentality. “I am the field of bliss, and anything I add to this is a value add. I’m already in bliss, and if I get to share it with somebody, that’s the plus. That’s the value add. But I’m already in bliss. My bliss is not conditional.” 

Conditional happiness is not baseline happiness and soulmate mentality is definitely conditional, an idea of conditional happiness. “Under this particular condition, I’ll become happy. I won’t be happy until the person who completes me arrives on the scene.”

You do not need another person to complete you. You are complete, and until you learn that from direct experience and you can experience it, you’re going to live a life of misery and you’re going to bring misery to other people too.

These so-called soulmates are going to keep processing through your life until you finally arrive at the conclusion that the only thing that makes a soulmate is you. It’s not the other person that makes it happen. It’s you that makes it happen.

And so Self-realization, capital S Self, the realization of the big Self is the basis on which soulmate can occur. You can have a soulmate. But it’s not somebody who’s out there who’s made specifically for you out of the 8 billion people who are on the earth.

There’s only one person who fits you perfectly? It’s just not true. You can cause soulmate function to occur if you’re in the right consciousness state, and your mate needs to also be in the right consciousness state. So when both of you are, have your inner Self, your soul awakened to the deep inner reality, then the two of you can behave and you can call each other soulmates to your heart’s content, and you’ll probably feel like, “Everything in our life was designed for us to be here like this.”

What’s that? That’s the Unified Field talking inside you.

Of course, The Universe has whatever it wants. Everything in The Universe was made for everything else in The Universe. Everything in The Universe was a soulmate of everything else in The Universe, from the universal perspective. So go ahead and live that life and give each other… cherish each other and give each other that kind of regard, but with the fundamental understanding that it comes about due to an exact percentage, and to the exact extent to which you’ve attained to Self-realization.

[13:26] If You Have Self-realization, You Have a Soulmate

If you have Self-realization, you have a soulmate. If you don’t have Self-realization, you can be looking forever, and there’ll just be a continuous stream of people who embarrassingly seemed to qualify as soulmate for a period of time and then turned out not to be. So, don’t set yourself up for disappointment.

My master, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi said to me once, he would always set me up, and so something happened. I had a bit of a crest fallen look on my face, and he said, “Are you disappointed?”

I said, “Yes, I’m disappointed.”

“Oh,” he said, “dis-appointed. Disappointment. Disappointment. So you made an appointment?”

I said, “What?”

He said, “You had an expectation that was unrealistic. That was you making an appointment in order to have disappointment. You can’t have disappointment unless you make an appointment. You have a false expectation. You expected something that clearly wasn’t happening.

There were other things happening that you could have had your attention on, and all of your expectations would’ve been met. But this particular thing that you had your attention on, expectation wasn’t met. You made an appointment and you got the dis-appointment.”

So don’t set yourself up for disappointment. Awaken your full inner potential and turn on the electromagnet and all the iron filings will be attracted to you, including somebody who’s tolerable, who you can spend time with day and night. And, we want to have that tolerably delicious, interpersonal relationship with somebody.

For that we have to be… we have to be magnetic and then we can choose who we’d like to have shared experience with, and life will be very, very happy in that regard.

Jai Guru Deva.